Otterbein United Methodist Church

February 10, 2008

Scripture: I Corinthians 13 (selected)

Sermon: “Living Happily Ever-after” – “Love – The Real Deal!” – (Part 4 of a 5 part series)

What women should know… some opening thoughts…

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

2. Birthdays, Valentines and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again.

3. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes -- what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

4. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.

5. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both.

6. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, neither do we.

7. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

8. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

I saw this sign on a plaque 8 days ago… “God created the earth and he rested, he created man, and he rested. Then he created woman, and neither God nor man has rested since.”

Today is the 4^th of a five week series on love, and with Valentine’s Day on Thursday, it seems fitting we use this week to talk about “Love – the Real Deal!”

Sven was a Norwegian Farmer living in the plains states. He came in one winter morning to no breakfast. His wife was sitting at the kitchen table, sobbing her heart out. “Vats da madder wit you?” “I vas sittin’ here thinkin’ that we been married 40 years and I don’t remember even one time you tellin me that you love me.” “Dare, Dare… dry dose eyes. On the day vee got married I told you that I luv you and if anyting changes, you’ll be da first one I tell.”

Introduction… If you were around in the 1960’s you are very much aware of Petula Clark, who had more top of the chart hits in the United States than any other British woman in history. We know her for such songs as Downtown, I Know a Place, A sign of the Times, The Other Man’s Grass is Always Greener, and probably one of her biggest hits of all, My Love. Petula Clark didn’t write “My Love;” Tony Hatch wrote the lyrics in 1965 while on a plane ride to the United States; October of that year, Petula Clark recorded them.

My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine; softer than a sigh.

My love is deeper than the deepest ocean, wider than the sky.

My love is brighter than the brightest star that shines every night above;

And there is nothing in this world that can ever change my love

Think about that last line: “nothing in this world that can ever change my love.” They were just lyrics. Tony Hatch has had a steady supply of “loves” and is currently on his 3^rd wife. Obviously something changed his love! Despite what some of the best intentioned lyrics may say… let’s face it, you’re not swimming the deepest ocean, or climbing the tallest mountain for that one you love. (If you’re going to climb Everest, there’s the possibility, you won’t be coming back to see the one you love – you’ll be frozen to death up there!)

Our culture has this huge buy-in on a mushy romantic thing that we try to convince ourselves is love, but is really far from it!

One broken relationship is almost guaranteed to follow another when the basis of those relationships is physical attraction, or “chemistry.” How will that person hold up under the pressure and discovery of the real you? How will they handle your past, your family, your anger, your perspectives, or your world view?

But such is the nature of romantic love! It is utterly fickle and will never be enough to sustain a relationship for the long haul. Romantic love is NOT WRONG! It’s just the wrong foundation for a relationship.

Doesn’t “falling in love,” just sound like a relationship going the wrong way – down not up!

Even when it comes to the Bible, many of us miss the real significance of the word “love.” The New Testament was originally written in Greek. Greek has a whole bevy of words that are translated into English as the one word - “love.”

· There’s a word that is translated love that simply means a natural affection for things that can’t love you back… I love sunsets; I love my new car; I love my cat.

· There’s a word that refers to “sexual love,” and is the root of our word “erotic.”

But the words used most often in scripture are…

· Philia – or Phileo; they speak of brother affection or kindness. (Adelphos means brother in Greek: Philia-adelphos – Philadelphia means “brotherly love.” The way this shows up is “because of love.” Because you are nice to me, I’ll be nice to you).

· Agape - love that gives without expecting to receive in return. Love that has the good of the other ahead of the good of self. This is often referred to as “in spite of love.”

Agape is the kind of love the Lord shows us… “in spite of.” Look at the magnitude of God’s love… and he’s always saying it…

· John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave.” It’s giving love, not taking love. It loves, serves, and gives for the benefit of the loved, not the one doing the loving.

· 1 John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loves us, and gave his son…”

· Romans 5:5 – “God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Spirit.”

· Romans 5:8 – “God demonstrates his own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners…”

Relationally, in marriage, we are to apply this “giving, not expecting to receive” kind of love to one another.

· “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself…” Ephesians 5:25

· “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matt. 22:39

· “Love your enemies.” Matt 5:44 If you can’t love them any way other than enemy… love them anyway!

In Fiddler on the roof, Tevye looks at his wife Golde of 25 years, and asks, “Do you love me?” Their’s had been an arranged marriage, and Tevye sings, “The first time I met you was on our wedding day… I was scared, I was shy, I was nervous, so was I… but our father and our mother said we’d learn to love each other, and so I’m asking do you love me?” “I suppose I do.” “It doesn’t change a thing, but even so, it’s nice to know!”

Their’s was a love beyond romance! It was a love that could and would weather the storms of life. Their love was rooted in commitment and an act of the will much more so than in fickle feelings!

Marriage vows, “I promise to love, honor, comfort and keep…” Did you catch that, I promise to love. Love is a promise, a commitment, a setting of the will, not a feeling.

Conclusion… One of the requirements of my pre-marital counseling is what I call “full disclosure.” Full disclosure is sharing with one another every situation, relationship, old flame, venereal disease, traffic ticket, legal problem, and anything else that needs to be shared until there isn’t any junk left in the bag that the other person doesn’t know. Full disclosure requires love that’s built on trust. Did you ever notice that it’s a whole lot harder to rebuild trust after it has been destroyed than it was to build it in the first place?

The amazing thing about God is this… He already knows us and loves us completely. Whether we are trying to hide, or being fully open in confession… he loves us!

Ronnie Freeman has written a song “God Speaking” that identifies all sorts of ways that God speaks to us. The lyrics ask, “What if it’s God speaking? Who knows how he’ll get a hold of us? He’ll do and he’ll use whatever he wants to, to tell us ‘I Love You.’”

God looks for ways every day to tell us, “I love you!”

He has written it in His Love Letter to us – the Bible; He has written it in every tree and flower, and all creation. He has written it in the sun, moon, planets, and stars… He has written it so clearly, that I can’t imagine how anyone can live life without knowing it!

Most of all, God has written his love for us in the message of the cross.

His love is revealed in the bread and the cup.

Video… 2 minutes on telling those you love that you love them.