Otterbein United Methodist Church

January 20, 2008

Scripture: Genesis 1:31; 2:18-25

Sermon: “Living Happily Ever-after” – “Let’s Start at the Very Beginning” – (Part 1 of a 5 part series)

In the musical “The Sound of Music” Maria, the nanny, takes the seven Von Trapp children up on a hillside where she tries to re-introduce a formerly musical family to the joys of music. She sings, “Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you read you begin with ABC when you sing you begin with ‘Do, Re, Mi;’ the first three notes just happen to be ‘Do, Re, Mi…’” If when you learn to sing you start at the very beginning, I think that’s a very good place to start in looking at marriage – not with music, but at the beginning.

And so we turn to the book of beginnings – Genesis 1:31; Genesis 2:15-24.

Introduction… As we begin this series on Living Happily Ever After, I want to share a few insights…

Women are always right and men are never wrong. Always and never are two words never to use when arguing.

Women love candlelight and conversation; men love Larry, Moe, and Curly.

Women develop “honey-do” lists; men have “honey-do Attention Deficit Disorder”

Women can be angry and upset at any time; a husband can only be angry and upset if his wife wants him to be.

Wives can change their minds at any time; husbands need written permission to change their minds!

Wife to Husband: “There’s a spider in the shower.” Advice to wives: “Ladies, you too can be spider killers!”

Wife to Husband: “Does this outfit make me look fat?” Advice to husbands: DO NOT answer that question!

Now I admit, there is a lot of stereo-typing in those answers that I hope have little or no bearing on the realities of your marriage; however, your response indicates that you identify, at least in part, with them. I have two essential disclaimers that you need to know…

**Disclaimer #1… Dan suggested that with the amount of hurt and brokenness that exists in marriage I could preach for a year on the subject and not have addressed all the elements of marriage. With tongue in cheek I countered that “I’m so good, I’ll be able to do it in 5 weeks.”

**Disclaimer #2… I grew up as the product of a home that, now more than 60 years later, is still intact. I have been a part of a marriage that has 37 years of longevity (yes, I was married when I was 2). While…

1. I have been profoundly blesses by my relationship with Chris (and hope for another 37 years), and

2. Firmly believe that marriage is the most wonderful relationship God ever invented, before you say, “He doesn’t understand, know that I have counseled and witnessed others in huge pain & marital distress!

To understand God’s design for the nature of marriage, you need to understand the nature of God!

God is a God of relationships. Even before there was man, there was relationship between the Father, the Son and the Spirit. (“Let us make man in our image” - Genesis 1:26 – the “us” is the Godhead).

Within the context of this relational God we discover His nature… He is a communicating, fellowshipping, and loving God. Those characteristics were in place within the Godhead long before God pushed together some dust and said, “Let’s make a being in our image!”

So God goes into “creation mode” and he makes Adam in his image. That means Adam is created to communicate with God, fellowship with God, and love God. God looks over all He’s created and says, “It’s very good.” (Genesis 1:31) Then, lastly, His eye falls on the only creature that was uniquely made in His image, Adam, and he said, “It’s not good that the man should be alone, I’ll make a helper fit for him.”

God ordained that the very basis of relationship between God and humanity would be communication, fellowship and love. Communication, fellowship, and love were the pattern by which the man and woman would relate to God and to one another. Their connection with God was primary. They understood that God was Spirit, and they understood they could communicate with God and connect with him on the level of the spirit. They also understood they had been made in his image and were spiritual beings. Yes, they lived in a time space world of matter and distance, but they could affirm everything they saw in creation… it was beautiful, it was good, and God had made it! Because their connection with God was so very right, they connected with each other on that same basis. This God centered and God ordained basis of relationship (communication, fellowship and love) was at the very heart of how they related to and connected with each other.

Sin didn’t enter the world until Adam and Eve placed their connection with each other ahead of their connection with God. God had said, “Don’t eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” They set aside the spiritual element, the relationship with God, and were complicit in their eating of the forbidden fruit.

Little did they suspect that the price of putting something they agreed on (but was contrary to God and the spiritual life within them) ahead of their relationship with God would produce a breakdown in how they connected with each other.

Though they had been in agreement in breaking God’s rule and partaking of the forbidden fruit, they found that sin now separated them! They were out of touch with God and they were blame-shifting the problem from one person to another. “It wasn’t me… it was the woman…, it was the serpent…

Humanities problems begin with broken relationships with God. For the first time man experienced…

1. Guilt. Guilt puts a weight on the spirit that breaks communication and fellowship and makes us want to hide. We compensate for our guilt by doing (or overdoing) because we aren’t really free to enter into communication, fellowship, and love.

2. Condemnation. Can be defined as “Standing before the judge all the time, and you’re the judge.”

3. Rejection. Rejection is living in fear of people. Rejection builds walls of isolation and loneliness. It makes us afraid to reach out and afraid to love.

4. Fear. Fear grows out of insecurity which comes from relationships. Adam and Eve’s insecurity had them hiding in the garden covered in a fig leaf: Fear Insecurity Guilt – Loneliness Exile Anxiety Frustration!

5. Lostness. They no longer knew what they were going to do or what their purpose was.

Compared to the security of their relationship with God and each other before they sinned, they were no longer tasting the things that lead to life, but the things that lead to death! Your relationship with those you love (most significantly your spouse) are the reasons and motivations for your life. We are creatures of broken relationship. Only as we deal with them in godly ways can we develop ways to come out of our problems.

God sought to restore the broken relationship with mankind. He would send a Savior who would crush Satan (Gen. 3:15). Jesus would enable a restored relationship with God, meeting our needs and providing us…

1. A love powerful enough to overcome our guilt.

2. Acceptance so strong it would free us from our condemnation.

3. Recognition so noteworthy it would remove our rejection.

4. Security so powerful it would lay waste our fears, and

5. Purpose so clear and compelling it would wash away our sense of “lostness.”

In so doing the Lord himself would provide the fix-it for the broken relationship that destroyed our sense of communication, fellowship, and love. Many people turn every way imaginable to try to have these needs met. Young girls (ages 14, 13 and even younger) give themselves to some guy because she longs for acceptance and thinks that “in the moment,” he is “worth it.” Alcohol and binge drinking among teens, adultery by husbands and wives, are all a cry of the heart for the warmth of genuine communication, fellowship and love.

No matter how hard we may try, we’re not going to come to wholeness in our marriages, or in any other relationship, until we first come back into relationship with God. It doesn’t matter how “gorgeous she is” or how “cute he is,” your relationships will always lack their highest purpose unless they have begun in the spiritual and the physical attributes which change with time are made secondary!

Apart from relationship with God being #1, you will always be looking at your spouse to meet needs in you that God never equipped them to meet.

Conclusion… The parable of the Prodigal Son indicates we may have trouble receiving what God wants to give us… “I’m not worthy to be called your son.” Romans 8:15 talks about the comparison between the spirit of slavery (top list) and the spirit of son-ship (bottom list).

Do you live in a restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ (perfect communication, fellowship and love)?

Is He the basis of your relationship with your spouse? With others? What things are preventing that?

Will you commit yourself to a restored relationship with God as the first component of a healthy relationship with spouse/others?